well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
