i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
