What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
