My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
one might say we're banned from that church
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
