At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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