you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
