The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
