I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
