we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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