He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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