they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Found the puke drawer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
