Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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