jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
