In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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