A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
