Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
