yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
