we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
