I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
