my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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