Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My dick has a subreddit
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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