i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
