i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Randomize
