i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
