Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
