Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
