i think i have two assholes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
