I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
