Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
