Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
