who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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