I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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