I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
