i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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