im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
