She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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