The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize