Your mouth is God's brothel.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize