He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
