If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
