Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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