so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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