i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
