yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's shark week go big or go home
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
