i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i now understand why vodka
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
