True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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