It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
