I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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