Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
