we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
