I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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