You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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