Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
