I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize