fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
