if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
