mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize