i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
