I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
