I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
