Swine flu. Run for my life!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
