At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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