I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
