He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
