We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
