Please, let me fuck your mom
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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