did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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