if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am available for nakedness
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
