Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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