he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
foreskin is a definite game changer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
