He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
