we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
