Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
