are you so shy because you have an std?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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