Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
