I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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