THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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