ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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