Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
