i just google imaged poop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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