At least make sure they are 18
Why
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize