keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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