Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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