I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
