clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize