North Korea, Best Korea!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
