I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
