i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
